What to do, and what to avoid, while going through divorce
Few events in a man’s life will be as confusing and emotional as going through divorce. For men who want to stay married, having your spouse file for divorce feels like a deep betrayal.
You will be hurt, mad, and upset. For men that want to divorce, your wife’s outrageous demands can drive you crazy and make you angry. Although it is easy to lose your cool, it is always better to stay calm and try to be objective.
Helpful divorce tips and free advice
Read through this section to learn what to do, and what to avoid, while going through divorce.
Show your children the love and attention they deserve. Make sure that they know they are not the reason for the divorce. Promptly pay all child and spousal support owed by you, and promptly pursue collection of delinquent support owed to you.
Try to resolve minor problems with your spouse. If your good-faith efforts can’t resolve the problem then contact your attorney to find out what legal actions you can take.
Show respect towards your spouse in front of the children. If you can’t do that then do not say anything at all. It will only come back to haunt you as well as send the wrong message to the children.
Be honest and up front. Judges have heard everything; they can see through lies and know when they are being manipulated or the children are being used. They do not look kindly upon such tactics.
Use good business sense when deciding what to fight for, and at what it will cost should you fight for it.
Be reasonable, flexible, and knowledgable. Find out from your attorney what you are entitled to by state law regarding equitable property distribution, alimony and child support.
Get professional help if you need it to cope with your divorce.
Pay your support obligations on time. Not only will you avoid legal ramifications, you are also supporting your children. The money goes towards the rent/mortgage, food, clothes, utilities and other necessities. If the money isn’t being used appropriately, document your concerns and use it as evidence for a divorce modification.
Obey all court orders. If you disagree with a court order, have your attorney file a motion to change the order.
Reconnect and strengthen relationships with friends you had before your marriage. Their support will help.
Keep your future in mind and start planning what you are going to do once the divorce is over.
Stop the children from seeing the other parent during their scheduled visitation time. Obey all court orders, even ones with which you disagree. Obeying orders with which you disagree and documenting their unfairness is the best way to have them changed later. This is especially true of temporary orders.
Use child support payments or child visitation as a weapon against your spouse.
Put your spouse down in front of the children, family, or friends, or threaten or antagonize them in any way. This includes talking about your issues on social media, such as Facebook! Remember that anything put on any social media site, email, or text message may later be presented as evidence in your case. Use your children as a negotiating tool during the settlement process.
Spend $1,000 on attorney fees fighting over a $150 piece of furniture. Use common-sense and pick your battles wisely to control fees and costs.
Get greedy. It doesn’t matter if you wanted the divorce or your spouse did. Just because you’re hurt and your emotions are running high, does not mean that you are entitled to more than the law allows. This attitude will cost you unnecessary attorney fees and the judicial system doesn’t care about your personal feelings.
Vent to your children about the issues of the divorce. They are not equipped to handle the emotional strain being placed on them.
Pay your child support late. If you’re having trouble keeping up, seek a divorce modification.
Violate any restraining order, or any other court orders.
Try to go it alone and do everything yourself.
Give up hope that things will get better.
“Nothing in my life before this point prepared me for getting a divorce. I was angry everyday and everything that happened made me more upset. I thank the attorneys of Divorce Lawyers For Men for being so patient and helping me make it through my divorce.” – Peter W.