Is divorce bad? Or a mistake? Is divorce a failure? Or is divorce acknowledging a mistake? Is divorce accepting that people and life change?
Is it better to stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of the children? Or move on and create a happier and healthier home for the children? Is it better to stay in a bad marriage for the sake of protecting your retirement and other investments? Or move on to create new investments and build the remainder of your retirement? Is it better to spend the rest of your life unhappy, or is it better to take action to find a happier life?
Well, I am a bit prejudiced. I am a divorce lawyer. The guy that guides people through the divorce process. I do not think of myself as tearing apart happy homes. I’m helping people move forward toward happier lives. Happy couples don’t get divorced.
No one gets married to get divorced.
Couples plan to stay together forever. People are happy when they get married. Couples have wonderful positive dreams about their future together. This is good, and as it should be.
But, we are humans. We make mistakes. Sometimes we learn that the person we were dating is not the person we married. Full time relationships are much different than merely dating. Some people that were great to live with become very different after marriage.
People change overtime.
People are not cast in stone. Personalities and attitudes are forever evolving; sometimes for the better, but sometimes for the worse. Unfortunately, couples often evolve in different and incompatible directions. We can each try to control our own behavior, but we cannot control our spouse’s behavior.
Often it is not you or your spouse that is changing, it is circumstances and situation in your life that is changing. Family finances can fall apart. Your spouse can be spending money that you just do not have. Spouses lose and change jobs, get promotions (and demotions), get more education, and simply have new life experiences. Again, people evolve.
That’s why we have divorce.
Divorce allows you to correct past mistakes, and to accept change. Divorce allows you to move on in life, and to try to find happiness.
No one is going to say divorce is good, but a lot of us are far happier that it was available to us. Rather than being stuck in a bad situation for the rest of our lives, we were allowed to move forward.
We each have only so many days on earth. And we all deserve to enjoy as many happy days as possible. Divorce may not be the answer for you, but it may be the answer for many others.