Divorce may seem like the last thing you want to think about when planning a wedding. However, divorce is a part of life and likely some of the decisions you will make in your wedding planning with be influenced by either your own or the divorce of someone close to you.
A father getting married for the second time may be concerned about how to include his young children in his wedding to someone other than their mother. A divorced mother may feel left out while her ex-husband and his new wife plan her son’s wedding. A bride with divorced parents may be concerned about what will happen when they are in the same room together.
Already complex affairs, weddings can seem even more challenging when divorce is an issue. This series, Divorce at a Wedding, is designed to help. Regardless of whose divorce you are dealing with, this series will offer helpful tips and solutions to deal with any potential challenges.
We focus on the challenges of taking wedding photos when the parents of the bride or groom are divorced. Wedding photos capture imagines meant to be treasured for a lifetime. Following these 5 tips will help a bride or groom deal with any explosions that may arise from having their divorced parents together again for the special day.
Tip 1: Make a List
Weddings are all about lists. Guest lists, seating charts, menus, song playlists, the lists never seem to end. You are probably working on a list right now while you are reading this. With everything else you need to worry about, it can be easy to decide you don’t need a photo list. Failing to organize the wedding pictures is a sure way to create awkward moments. When nobody knows what they are supposed to be doing, your father’s twenty-something second wife steps in for the mother/daughter picture and leaves the mother of the bride in tears.
Tip 2: Set a Photo Order
Be clear about the order the photos will be taken in and who will be in each one. It may be best to take all the pictures with one parent and that side of the family in a group. Then take all the pictures with the other parent and that side of the family. Make sure everyone knows the order and which photograph they will be in.
Tip 3: Consider the New Spouses
One constant of divorce is that it nearly always leads to remarriage. Having your divorced parents at your wedding likely means their new spouses and significant others will be there as well. While that may be some cause for concern, it is important to know who will be there in order to plan out the wedding photography. If there is any bad blood between one of your parents and a new spouse, do not shoot their respective pictures back to back. Have one finish before the other starts.
Tip 4: Choose your Photos
Deciding who will be in each photograph can be challenging. It is important to remember that it is your wedding and the pictures should reflect the important people in your life. You should balance that with the feelings and concerns of your parents.
If your parents divorced when you were young and a step-parent raised you, honor them in the photographs. If your parent only recently remarried or is only dating, it may not be appropriate to include their significant other in a photograph. It is also best to avoid any pairings that might cause strain. If your mother only recently left your father for her current husband, having everyone in the photograph may prove too stressful.
Tip 5: Talk to Your Parents
Once you have everything mapped out, talk with your parents about the photographs you have planned for each of them. You don’t need your parent’s approval for every shot, however you may discover potential issues that could cause strain. In some families, a mother and a step-mother may have no problem taking pictures together. At other weddings, the ex-husband and the current husband will keep a respectable distance.
You can’t solve the tensions your parents may feel, but you can keep issues to a minimum with careful planning. This will lower the stress at your wedding and make sure you have beautiful wedding pictures with both your parents. Parents can help by remembering that the day is planned to suit the wishes of the bride and groom. However, if you have strong preferences regarding wedding party photos, it is best to make your wishes clear in advance of wedding day.
Need a divorce attorney?
Divorce Lawyers For Men™ attorneys help husbands and fathers going through divorce. Meet in person with a Washington divorce lawyer who will be happy to explain the divorce process to you. Call us today at 877-866-7393 to speak with an attorney who understands your situation and can offer real help.
If you would like more information on the divorce process, or to take the best divorce resources with you in print, please check out our free divorce guide for men or contact our office to meet with an attorney about your particular circumstances.